- Ascent of Mind
This is a little site, one just getting on its feet, but one with a grand dream: The creation of a forum free from stigma where people who struggle or who have struggled with mental illnesses can freely express themselves through writing, visual art, music, and film. Art is liberating. Art is speech. We who have mentally illnesses are so often silenced by society or self-silenced by our own fear. Art, I believe, is a pure, beautiful, and purposeful way of pursuing and experiencing life. The artist is not merely a looker-on of life. Art is dynamic. Art has power. And we with mental illnesses are overflowing with art. We as a community are highly creative, and this is a fact that should bring us enormous pride. We create the art. We simply need forums. And, largely, society does not provide us with forums. So we forge our own. Divinest Sense is an attempt to do just that. Contribute! You do not have to mentally identify as an “artist” to contribute. We are all artists in our way. If you have a poem you wrote long ago for which you have always secretly dreamed of readers, send it in! If you are going through an experience–heaven or hell–that can only be expressed creatively, compose a song and send it in! I also hope this site will be educational; I hope it will have visitors who live free of mental illnesses. Education and expression: This is the mission of Divinest Sense. Yes, this all sounds grandiose… I realize. But big things always have little beginnings. And even if this site never grows beyond a few readers, a few artists, I will be satisfied. A little is more than nothing. And we with mental illnesses are often left with nothing. So create! Contribute! Establish that connection with the larger world that you have always dreamed of establishing. Create. Express. Share. Experience community.
Category Announcement |
by N.J. Sherberneau
Since its beginnings
I have visited the local drop-in,
a place where my peers and I meet to play cards,
share a cup of coffee,
and enjoy some conversation.
It’s a sanctuary from the stigma of society,
where all of us are accepted without judgment.
Unlike a city park or restaurant
if we sit in the corner and talk to ourselves,
or are symptomatic in any way imaginable,
no one will come up and tell us to “move along.”
Mental illness doesn’t discriminate,
so we’re from all races and backgrounds.
Some of us are homeless and addicted,
lost or forgotten,
but we come together here
to put down the burdens
of surviving with a disability.
We know the world doesn’t care much about us.
They only have some vague hope that we are okay,
and then they forget about us,
allowing us to live on the streets
or even locking us away in jails without treatment.
I understand that we’re not cute and cuddly
like some other charitable causes,
and that we may appear to be odd or scary,
but that’s why we need a drop-in center.
It’s a place totally staffed and patronized
by the mentally ill.
We could be bipolar, schizophrenic, have major depression
or any other brain disorder,
but here that is “normal.”
And if you don’t think we’re capable
just look at us:
we have been living and hammering out
the “peer helping peer” philosophy for nearly three decades.
Some days our drop-in is a morass of sickness
and overwhelming troubles.
But, we watch out for each other,
and even in crisis we trust our peers
will help get us the care we need.
So, is the drop-in important?
Is hope important?
Or friendship?
Or laughter?
If you don’t believe a government agency
can be worthwhile,
try finding another place where,
dollar for dollar,
so many people get so much in return.
Category Poetry |
- by Joey McCain
Joey McCain’s art can be found in the Gallery at www.emotionalorphan.net Please contact through the emotionalorphan.net contact link.
Joey is a graduate of the University of Georgia with a BA in Fine Arts and Art History. An accomplished magician with mixed media, he has been featured in numerous galleries and expositions throughout the Southeastern United States
Tags: images
Category Joey McCain, Visual Art |
By Larry Ackerman, writer and advocate and person in
Recovery from “schizoaffective disorder—bipolar type.
You say I’m, “schizophrenic”—what is that?
The label on the jar I’m prison’d in?
Am I to be defined like, “Thin” or “Fat”—
Fit for no purpose but the Looney Bin?
Are my truths less true than yours—my dreams less
Real? Do my visions damn my future’s end?
My heart breaks; my tears fall; my life’s a mess.
Shall I call the Darkness my only friend?
I’ll scream ‘til the Winds of Destruction die—
My song of suff’ring, bitter, bleak and cold.
I rage against all labels, asking, “Why—
Why should these chains limit my reach, my goal?”
The Real becomes more powerful than myth,
When Labels look real, touching where we live!
Category Larry Ackerman, Poetry |
by Nicholas Sherbeneau
As a child at play,
Soldiers were my heroes.
I fantasized about being in the Army during WWII,
Dropped behind the lines into occupied France
Or taking the beaches against the Japanese
In the Pacific.
But, lest we forget,
I never saw my best pals killed by bullets,
Without getting right back up
To play another day.
Tags: war
Category Nicholas Sherbeneau, Poetry |
by Larry Ackerman
Let my Life be a Sign-post pointing to Paradise—
Let me shake, high on my post in the stiff winds
Let me shake, but not be uprooted
That, in spite of all the noise swirling around me,
I might remain faithful—a still and steady Pointer.
Maps may tear or crease at just the wrong place…
Maps often do lead astray, or don’t get used,
Or get shoved under the dash—out of sight, out of mind.
But Paradise is constantly on the horizon—
Ever near, ever far, ever just beyond achieving.
So what is needed is a faithful signpost,
Standing firm beside the dusty way
For pilgrims from Earth’s desert-wastes
Giving clear warning that Infinite Bliss is near.
Paradise. Land of flowing milk and honey.
Land of Promises-Granted, the Eternal Gift of God.
No kisses sweeter than Paradise-gained!
Once there, we’re changed—priorities re-arranged, forever…
So forever we remain, renewed and ready to enter Paradise.
Category Larry Ackerman, Poetry |
by mands
Imagine for a minute that you are a juggler in the game of life. You have seven balls that you are juggling through the air at any given moment. For the sake of fun and a better understanding, each ball has a particular function.
There is the Red ball of chores, work and education.
The Orange ball of creative ability, exploration and adventure.
The Yellow ball of social fun and sharing laughter with your friends.
The Green ball of health, balance and prosperity.
The Blue ball of truth, courage and trying new things.
The Purple ball of reflection, meditation
and developing your Spiritual understanding.
The White ball of all your relationships…
Family, friends, teachers, peers and colleagues.
Sometimes you are able to keep all seven balls flowing and in perfect motion, especially if the Green ball of health, balance and prosperity is of focused priority. Then there are times when one of the other balls takes up all your time and concentrated attention. It’s important to do the necessary chores of life, washing the dishes, making the beds and paying the bills on time. This is made easier when the work that you do, your job or career choice, provides a steady income and is in balance with your other priorities in life. Although, as everybody gets to experience, things can easily change. The chores can pile up, or you can loose your job… and then the bills pile up too. The tiniest seed of doubt and a grain of fear can force you to focus on the Blue ball of truth, courage and trying new things. Maybe a different choice of job or career is needed by focusing on your education… or you can just drop the Red ball in a moment, and focus your time and attention on your Blue ball of truth, finding your courage and trying new things. The interesting thing about the Red ball of chores, work and education, is that it’s made from the most durable rubber and often bounces right back. Chores can wait, and then they just need to be done. Bills can pile up and then they just need to get paid. Doing a different job, discovered through focusing your attention on the Blue ball of truth and finding your courage, by exploring and trying new things can be a welcome and expanding experience.
The Red and Blue balls melding to birth an evolved Purple Pearl of deeper understanding.
Playing with the Orange ball of creative ability, exploring new ideas and discovering the fun in adventure… Can quickly change a routine job of the Red ball of work, into a prosperous career of purpose and passion, creating a luminous Pearl of ultimate possibilities and unlimited potential.
Taking time often enough to enjoy the Yellow ball of social fun and sharing laughter with your friends, can lighten the responsibility and burden of the Red ball of mundane chores, the necessity for work, or gruelling further study. It simply eases stress and tension, enhancing the Green ball of health, and through balance creates even more productivity and wealth. Combining your Orange ball of creativity, with the Yellow of socialising with your family and friends, together you discover fun filled adventures of laughter, making a Pearl of memories that grows as each story is shared and retold.
When the Green ball of health and balance is neglected, sometimes purely through necessity… stress, illness or a loss of prosperity, can create a confusing white cloud of doubt. Blurring your vision and causing you to miss all the balls, dropping them purely for a much needed time out.
In the White mists of healing a reflective fulcrum forms, a shadowy feeling, an uncomfortable emotion or a negative thought at the fore. Staying true to your healing and seeking balance at your core, embracing the Purple ball in meaningful meditation and purposeful reflection… will bring deeper personal understanding and restore health and balance once more. Often during this contemplative time out, it’s your family and friends, represented by your White ball of relationships, that continue to juggle your balls of life. A parent or partner… footing the bills, a special friend… doing your chores, or even a responsible employer who continues to pay you. Your Green ball of health and balance… once fallen, tarnished and possible broken through illness and neglect, or even unwise investment… Is woven, glued and held together, with glimmering Purple strands, and the brightest, shimmering White, saturated with ever changing hues and creates a Pearl of the most everlasting colours.
Then you begin to realise, that the balls of life that you struggle to juggle are the most beautiful, valuable strand of pearls.
That lying on a shelf, dull and neglected, the White ball of relationships might be the most valuable Pearl of all. That everyone knows that a Pearl locked in a wardrobe, becomes dull in reflection and lifeless of colour. For it’s the oils of your skin and the warmth of your body, that feed and nurture this delicate and wondrous gift from nature. For a Pearl to continue shining its luminous light, you have to continually wear it close to your heart. Amidst frustration and anguish you search for this treasure. Guilt and anger turning you inwards to seek answers to your questions, and wondering where and why you forgot this most valuable life lesson.
Hidden in your heart you find the wisest answer… and then you discover the most valuable, glorious Pearl of all… That one of the most important relationships in life, is the one you have with yourself, luminous in every colour.
As your tears of healing flow freely, washing the bitterness from your heart, the inner light of wisdom shines through, illuminating each precious Pearl of life…
Its then that you discover… that through each of your unique Pearls shines an eternal shimmer of White. In wisdom you discover, that there are no coloured balls of life that need to be juggled. Just a strand of the most beautiful, colourfully luminous Pearls, and all you really need to do is wear them all close to your heart.
For we are in essence,
Both… the makers of pearls… and we are the pearls we make!
© Mandy Swinburne – 9th August 2005
Website: [ http://www.kaleidoscopes.co.za/ ]
Please subscribe to our monthly Kaleidoscopes Newsletter by sending an email to newsletter-subscribe@kaleidoscopes.co.za – thanks!
Tags: balance, wisdom
Category Essay, mands |
by Nick Sherbeneau
“avoid the soft discrimination of low expectations.”
In the beginning stages of my schizophrenia
I coped by drinking and drugging.
That worked for a while
but, the last few years before I quit,
I would lie down when I got stoned,
desperate for anything to make me feel “normal.”
Thank God I wasn’t addicted,
but just got tired of the revolving door
of psych units and insanity
every time the street drugs triggered an episode.
Finally, I had had enough.
Years later and looking back,
I see it was a few, compassionate, social workers
that helped make the choice between quitting,
or facing the serious consequences of abuse.
Now the role of caregiver has come full circle.
Though I’m not a social worker,
I am a Peer Support Specialist,
part counselor, part friend,
who also cares about consumers
that cope by using.
Maybe their vices are none of my business.
But, if pointing out healthy alternatives
empowers them to change their behaviors,
then they move closer to wellness
and my own recovery is reinforced.
It’s a “win-win” for everyone.
I’m retired now,
and know that sometimes
expecting too much change is unrealistic.
But, no matter how disheartening the circumstances,
Peer Support Specialists,
(like the professionals)
still treat their people with dignity:
encouraging them to improve their lives,
remembering how it feels to be in their situation.
Tags: addiction, caregiving, peer support, recovery
Category Nicholas Sherbeneau, Poetry |
Youth is stolen
Emotionally frozen
Clouded by fears
Aged in years
You strike, but you don’t care who
Laden in riches
Nice things too
Poverty at the doorstep
Of a mission
You strike, but you don’t care who
Black, white
Any ethnic group
Part of this
A little of that
National alphabet soup
You strike, but you don’t care who
You have no boundaries
Religion has not stopped you
Fervent or faltering
You don’t care who
You struck, but we’re fighting back
What you made weak
Battles make us strong
What we feared
We’ve overcome
Our pain is teaching us
Hopelessness looks hopeful
Helplessness is supported
Dullness gone,
Now Shining Through
We’re still standing
Thanks to you all
We feel you love
We’re striking back, mental illness.
Tags: battle, recovery, strength
Category Poetry, Susan Meekhof |
by Darvel Silda
What is a Librarian? Most people would tell you that a Librarian is someone who works in a library, but I am here to tell you that a Librarian is someone who periodically makes a pilgrimage to the shrine, called the Library, the repository of all the sacred Texts, most commonly called books. All books are Sacred Texts. When you make a pilgrimage to the Library you intuitively know which of the Sacred Texts you need to read next in order to proceed on your Spiritual Journey. The Angel sitting behind the information desk is the Gatekeeper of the Sacred Texts. The Angel Gatekeeper is there to guide your footsteps in the direction that you need to go in order to find that Sacred Text. The Library is the only place where all of the world’s ideas can peacefully coexist. The Library is the only place where everyone can make a Pilgrimage, without first having to pass an entrance examination. When you enter the Library, you shed your identity as a member of any one organization or group, and put on the mantel of one who is a member of that great collection of souls called Humanity.
It does not matter to the Angel Gatekeeper what your individual beliefs, gender, or any other affiliations are. The only thing that matters is that you are on your individual Pilgrimage toward enlightenment, and their purpose is to assist you on your way. The Library is the only place where individual differences are of no importance. Everyone is truly equal at the Library. The next time your intuition is directing your footsteps toward the ‘Library’, remember, be a Librarian first, and anything else that you choose to be, after that. The things that unite us are more important than the things that divide us. The Earth is but one country, and Mankind its citizens. Namaste!
Tags: wisdom
Category Darvel Silda |
